Doctor Swan's Adventure
by Arin Handsome
Summary: Jack needs to confess his feelings. WILL HE!


It was late at night and Jack was in bed. Jack, as his name implies, likes to jack off to furry porn while riding mechanical unicorn. Jack just couldn't stop thinking about Aaron. Aaron, as you may well know, is a synonym for the biggest jew on earth. Aaron was special to Jack, and Jack very well knew this. He was the reason that Jack couldn't sleep that night, as he couldn't stop fantasizing about Aaron's kawaii sledgehammer. Aaron's sledgehammer was known across the universe as the most powerful weapon used for DDoSing. Anyways, as Jack continued to struggle sleeping, he suddenly had an epiphany. He would talk to Aaron about his true feelings tomorrow at Nigger's (be) High. He could no longer take faking his relationship with Kacey, as she and him both knew where his true feelings were.

The next day, at sixth period, Jack and his friends, excluding Austin because he was busy being the biggest pimp and euphoric fedora wearing swag lord that the universe had ever seen, were sitting at a lunch table together. Across from Jack was Aaron, who had just made a clever joke about a penis, which resulted in him getting instant praise. "Wow Aaron, that was pretty good," said Alyssa, "let's kiss." Suddenly, Aaron and Alyssa performed the deepest tonguing ritual that the friends of Jack had ever seen. "Wow. Nice Meme," said David "Doctor Rule" Swan. "I don't think I've ever seen a nicer meme than this one said David," referring to himself in third-person. Meanwhile, Chandler was talking to Musashi, when suddenly he errored and went on repeat saying "PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS PENGUINS," not missing a single beat. Musashi didn't care, because he was Asian. Musashi suddenly realized he needed to go to work, and said "I got go ok?" and blasted through the ceiling, revealing that he had indeed inherited the Boku no Pico blood. Jack, during all of this, was staring at Aaron, furious at the fact that Alyssa was making out with Aaron. "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo." Aaron was shocked, as he didn't realize Jack cared so much. He then took out his kawaii sledgehammer, and killed Alyssa. He then confessed his love to Jack, and Jack began to cry like a faggot. "Oh Aaron-senpai, thank you for noticing me!" Jack then jumped on Aaron's kawaii sledgehammer as a sign of affection, and rode off into the sunset. HAPPY END.


End file.
